Durban - Last week, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex (Harry and Meghan) announced their semi-divorce from the royal family. We asked some of Durban’s famous alter egos to provide some guidance to the family.
Jailoshini Naidoo whose stage name is Aunty Rumba
First and foremost, I just want to place on the records my opinion on the Harry and Meghan drama.
You see, who are we to judge? I don’t want to mention names but whether we’re the queen or who we are, just remember this boy is not any ordinary Tom, Dick or Harry, he is a royalty.
Leave the poor fella (er, not so poor) alone. Shame, he took after his mother, a free spirit. Our Diana may be gone like a candle in the wind but her kind heart is still living in this child, handsome Harry.
So Queen Lizbeth, if you reading this article or if somebody is reading it for you, just take my advice:
Step down from your high horse (we know you have quite a few). This is your grandson, not your son, so don’t meddle ma. Let these children live their lives, Lizzie.
We can teach and advise what we want but they have a mind of their own. Children today are not like those in our days. If this is a mistake, they will learn from it. If this is not a mistake then you will learn from it.
Daughters-in-law are like the family pet, like your corgis. They will love you, take the treats you give them and still bite your fingers. They will run away from home but will always find their way back. See Meghan is not keeping your grandson away from you. She’s just helping him to gain some independence because he’s not like his father, a Charlie stuck to the petticoat.
If I was in your shoes Queen Lizbeth (not that I don’t have my own expensive genuine leather shoes which my uncle bought and gave me), I would remember the words of the other queen, Freddy Mercury. Harry is under pressure, he wants to break free so don’t so don’t stop him now… in the end, we will see if they are the champions!
Same situation I went through with my daughter-in-law. I thought she took my son and ran away to Joburg. But they built a terrifik life for themselves.
What brought her back into my good books? Recipes! She needed my delicious recipes to keep my son happy and healthy! Mark my words, Meghan will be running back to you Lizbeth for something or other.
Don’t stress ma, you just straighten your crown, drink your cup of tea and wait. And, if you feeling very depressed, then just put a call through to me and we can talk. I’m too good for all that…. always helping people with their problems from one side and coming.
Okay then, right eh.This is Rumba signing off… cut! Just like Meghan and Harry cut themselves off from the queen… shame!
Vikash Mathura as uncle Bala.
Picture: Supplied
Vikash Mathura as Bala
Vanakkum everybuddy! The problem is not that Harry wants to find a real graaf. The main issue is he forgot to tell Queenie Nani about his plans!
Now, I dunno what the big fuss is all about. It happens in the best of families.
Like how many times I forgot to tell my own Amma about my plans to open a shebeen?
Okay, maybe my situation is different because yaw’l know that my Amma is always critical naw?
But coming back to Harry and his vrou. It’s so nice to hear that Meghan wants to do voice-over work for Disney because we know that she never had much of a voice in the palace.
And what’s so wrong if Harry wants to be independent? At least that boy still got his mother’s blood. And anyways, why look so far?
The same thing happened here when Zuma was president!
His son Duduzane put his foot down and said he didn’t want to become a politician like his old man.
He reckoned he wanted to be independent and make his own billions!
And see how successfully that boy was. All because he had his father’s blessings. Maybe Charles should do the same thing for Harry naw?
Never forget that famous saying, if you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was yours. If it doesn’t, it’s because you were an idiot or something like that.
But nummind. It’s not nice to laugh at other people’s problems! Lukka every buddy. Bala’s out.
Aunty Shamilla (aka Preven Reddy)
Picture: Facebook
Preven Reddy as Aunty Shamilla
Now I fully understand why Meghan is doing what she is doing.
Firstly, I am very proud of her because she clearly got her man unders! Because, you know, she made him leave his duties there which is absolutely fine.
But like I’m saying, I understand because you know how some queens can behave and how some queens can act and I’m sure Lizbeth is making her life a misery there (even though I love her, you know how I love the royal family).
So, I fully support Meghan in what she’s doing.
My only advice to Meghan is ride some bikes as a form of transportation, maybe get a skateboard or one of those plastic scooters because you know how Lizabeth and motor cars are. Remember what happened the last time a duchess tried to disobey the system?