On the Couch: New kit is just not cricket

Captain Siya Kolisi as we expect him: in the green and gold. Turquoise and white is just not cricket.

Captain Siya Kolisi as we expect him: in the green and gold. Turquoise and white is just not cricket.

Published Sep 16, 2023

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Diabolical tomfoolery and trickery.

Getting through the remarkably dull #RWC 2023 opening ceremony was bad enough. Then our Boks vanished.

Going cold turkey when the 2020 lockdown forced our household to make drastic budget cuts and lose the sports channels was tough. Sacrificed on the dinner table were the Sharks and Boks, the Proteas, MotoGP, F1 and the tennis.

No more being sucked into the drama of the action, willing your side on. Twitter, now also the victim of diabolical X tomfoolery, became the go-to place to get results.

Platform users shared glimpses from the Boks’ epic win over the All Blacks at Twickenham, if you searched for them, including the mighty haka, but “watching” on X after the fact was pretty soulless.

We had not expected to see any of the RWC, so we were delighted to learn we were invited to the excitement on the SABC. After the dismal chase-the-hat display, we loved the haka and Les Bleus winning the opening game. For the first time in years, the couch crouched in front of the TV waiting for the Big Game on Sunday.

There was fear: we had followed the Proteas for too long and suffered the hangover. A small blip of hope with a win against the Aussies this week, and games last night and tomorrow notwithstanding, we’ve grown accustomed to being promised the world and, with the exception of our women’s teams, being left stranded in a sea of disappointment.

With enormous anticipation the couch gathered around for the SABC Bok party. Thoughts of the cricket crumble were directed into other dark corners of the soul. Our boys in green and gold would deliver.

Then the Sixty60 team ran out. If there was pre-match warning about those imposters with only the minute Springbok breast emblem portraying the green and gold, we missed it. There was shock and despair at this ludicrous turquoise and white outrage. We briefly considered whether it was an “away” kit, but the rules didn’t apply for that. Scotland’s blue and white would not easily be confused with the green and gold. This was really what they had dressed the boys in. Checkers must be delighted with the free publicity as the memes flew about the online delivery team’s colours.

The official explanation was that these shades made it easier for colour blind people to follow. We are absolutely in favour of encompassing new fans; I confess to not paying much mind to rugby until the 1995 RWC came to home ground, after which I was hooked, win or lose. One of my finest moments was getting a hug from Pieter-Steph du Toit at a post-2019 victory tour for a fangirl pic. Man, he is huge, and so friendly to the old tannie.

But messing with one of the world’s most recognised brands, having been nurtured from pariah to pride of the nation, is just not okay.

Manie Libbok’s perfect cross kick to send Kurt-Lee Arendse over elicited human howls of joy, so long silenced, and terrified the pooches right off their various couches. A moment of much-needed joy. It would have been even greater in green and gold.

Will the real Boks be out tomorrow? Because this turquoise and white is just not cricket.

  • Slogrove is news editor

The Independent on Saturday