Durban - “Sometimes we see the happy endings and the happy beginnings, but sometimes we don’t.”
That’s a line from Who Will Love The Children? by Ruth Grobler, 58, which describes her life’s journey, largely dedicated to helping abandoned babies and children in KwaZulu-Natal.
Described by some as one of the country’s unsung heroes, Grobler said this week that she wrote the book because “I wanted to inspire other people to be brave and bold and to step into their calling. You don’t have to be doing great things, but everyone can do something”.
It is an incredible tale of one person’s commitment to help others, staying steadfast in her faith.
A mother to two biological children and three adopted children, Grobler has come to the rescue of many other children over the last 20 years and is founder of Sinakekele Children based in Ndwedwe.
It all started when, as a young mom to two toddlers, Grobler was searching the internet for a suitable medical aid when an organisation for abandoned babies popped up on her screen.
She clicked and staring back at her was “this beautiful little boy’s face, that would be a catalyst of so much change”.
She ended up visiting that organisation and adopting newborn baby boy, Simon Sizwe.
She also “pondered and prayed a lot. And the plan unfolded. I became a crisis parent. A crisis parent is someone who cares for up to six vulnerable babies at a time. These are babies who have either been orphaned or abandoned while the welfare arranges ‘forever families’ for these children, or in some instances, manages to reunite them with their biological families”.
“From the world’s view, this obedience must clearly have looked like stupidity. I was a single parent with three children, a full-time job and my support structure at home was Granny and our domestic worker, Thatha, who kept house.
“It was not long before more babies came along and as the months went by, babies came and they left. It was always such a blessing for me to see babies leave. People often would ask me ‘how can you part with them?’ Or how sad it must be for me when the babies leave.
“But for me, it has never been sad. For me, it is an exciting chance for a new beginning for each little life that started out with such a raw deal. Whether the blessing of a forever family, the reunification of a biological family or the integration into a new and often unconventional family… the common denominator is always love. Seeing every new beginning is what kept me going and still keeps me going.”
Another adopted baby, Hlengiwe Mary, came to her as a very small and sick baby but has grown into “a beautiful, bubbly caring girl”. Themba Jake (named Jake after boxer Baby Jake) arrived with hollow eyes and could not lift up his own head, but grew into a “quirky, funny” little boy who loved to read.
The book shows that of the so many babies passing through her life “each has a unique story” and Grobler has no judgement ‒ from a baby left on a street to a baby whose mother walks out of a hospital and never looks back.
“What burden did they carry as they walked away?” she said.
“While it’s impossible to share the story of each special child, I can share parts of the stories of the children God gifted to me. The other parts are not mine to tell.”
Grobler’s book also details the hard times the family went through, often struggling to make ends meet.
“I worked all day in a paying job and here I was trying to run a ministry of babies. My life was insufficient: insufficient funds, insufficient space, insufficient time, insufficient resources, insufficient energy. Period. It must have looked like a recipe for disaster to any rational person,” she said. But she still had hope and her faith which carried her through those tough times.
“I look at the children I have raised and I see the great potential in each of them and I know that God has a plan and a purpose for each one. I look at the children who have been part of my journey, for just a season, and rejoice in the life they are living now,” she said.
Described as an autobiography which is “heart wrenching, yet ultimately uplifting” and “a raw and unfiltered portrayal of Ruth’s life journey”, it also portrays how an ordinary South African can make such a difference in the tiny lives around her.
Independent on Saturday