How to have productive and safe discussions about suicide with your teenagers

Among people aged 15 to 29, suicide ranks as the fourth most common cause of death. Picture from Pexels

Among people aged 15 to 29, suicide ranks as the fourth most common cause of death. Picture from Pexels

Published Jul 26, 2023

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According to figures from the World Health Organisation (WHO), 703 000 people commit suicide each year, and many more try it. Every suicide is a tragedy that has a profound impact on the survivors, including the families, communities, and entire nations.

Suicide occurs at any age and was the fourth biggest cause of death worldwide for people aged 15 to 29 in 2019.

Suicide is a global epidemic that affects all parts of the world, not only high-income nations. In reality, according to the WHO, almost 77% of suicides worldwide in 2019 took place in low- and middle-income nations.

Talking about suicide is one of the most effective methods to stop it. Because the stigma associated with suicide is diminished when we discuss it honestly and openly, even with our children.

It is no longer a matter that is cloaked in mystery or veiled in a shroud of shame. And if your kids learn to communicate openly and honestly about suicide, they'll know what to do if they think a friend needs help as well as if they have suicidal thoughts themselves.

Suicide is a significant public health issue, yet it can be avoided with prompt, evidence-based, and frequently inexpensive interventions. A thorough multisectoral suicide prevention strategy is necessary for effective national responses.

It's crucial to have a chat with your child if you're concerned that they could be contemplating suicide if you've spotted any warning flags in their behaviour. There are some methods for ensuring that the talk is fruitful and encouraging.

There are many things you can do to support your kid, even though these conversations can be challenging and upsetting.

The largest mental health support and advocacy organisation in Africa, the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG), works in South Africa on capacity building, outreach and counselling.

In order to assist parents and carers in having honest conversations with their children about suicide and mental health, mental health practitioners and researchers in NSW developed the useful resource known as SADAG.

This strategy might make it easier for you to start a discussion with your child about how they can acquire the support and assistance they require.

The following steps are recommended by the South African Depression and Anxiety Group framework because, while talking to a teenager, a discussion regarding suicide can be considerably more open because preteens have a greater grasp of death in general.

The research conducted by Reach Out, a global NGO that promotes suicide awareness, reveals that it can be useful to ask your child questions to determine what they already know. You can find out what false information they might have encountered by doing this as well.

Find out what your child is already aware of, or believes they are aware of, regarding suicide before having a lengthy chat with them about it.

To begin, find out whether any of their friends are having problems, what they would do to help them, and what choices there are for support and treatment.

Additionally, according to Reach Out, you should reassure them that most mental health issues can be resolved and that they are not weak for experiencing depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts.

Insist on the fact that you are there to support them, to assist them in finding support, and to make sure they don't act on those thoughts.

According to SADAG's research, familiarity can have both positive and negative effects. It might be stressful for children to be exposed to suicide without having the emotional room to comprehend that there is hope.

You don't want this subject's instruction to only come from YouTube or in-class discussion. It is crucial to create a safe space where suicide can be discussed without stigma or shame.

You can ask your youngster, “Do you sometimes feel so down that you realise you just cannot cope?” when the time is right. Alternatively, “Have you ever wanted to die?” Let them understand that they are welcome to speak to you about this at any time, regardless of whether they say no.

Normalising mental health disorders is a smart strategy as well, but it requires careful balancing. Let them understand that while it's common for people to experience sadness and disappointment occasionally, there is support available.

The risk of suicide has significantly increased by the time your adolescent is 14 or older, Dr Ackerman, a paediatric psychologist and clinical manager of the Centre for Suicide Prevention and Research at Children's Hospital, tells VeryWell Mind, a renowned source for trustworthy, considerate, and current information on the mental health issues that matter most.

They also probably know someone who has a mental illness or have themselves gone through depressive or anxious symptoms.

Dr Ackerman cautions that when your child or someone they know develops suicide thinking, it is even more important to make sure they are aware of what to do.

Make sure to emphasise that you are always there for them and that there are other ways they can get help, such as calling the crisis and suicide helpline.

Remember that your child probably wants to be heard and for someone to understand their emotional distress if they admit to thinking suicide or provide some insight into their feelings or fears, advises Dr Ackerman.

Discussing suicide can be intimidating and even frightening. But you shouldn't avoid the subject altogether. In fact, it can be crucial to openly and honestly discuss suicide with your children in a way that is age-appropriate and non-judgmental in order to prevent it from happening to them or a friend.

Do not delay in getting your child the assistance they require if you discover that they are battling with suicidal thoughts or showing symptoms of despair or anxiety.