Durban - A blessing with a challenge. That’s how three fathers to autistic children have described their journey of caring for their children living with autism.
Andre Ponnusamy, 36, Gerald Anthony Pyoos, 58, and Doctor Johannes Gambu, 47, said they had tried their best to make life easier for their children living with autism.
Ponnusamy, said his 4-year-old daughter Mia, was the light of his life. He said he has learnt a lot about autism so that he could properly care for and understand his daughter.
Ponnusamy was going through a divorce. “Getting up to speed as a parent of an autistic child is not easy, but I am trying to learn to be better equipped for my little girl.
Knowledge about her needs is very important. “The future will be tough, but we are very close, and our bond will make it a lot easier.
“Mia does have medical care requirements for her development and I’m her dad, so it is my responsibility to make sure she grows into an independent woman and a productive member of society.
She goes for speech therapy and is learning how to speak. Communication isn’t great, but she is improving.” Ponnusamy said having the support of family has made a huge difference.
“My mom is a huge help, as are other family members. I’m a very hands-on dad, so I do everything I can for my little girl, but her hair is a challenge – I’m trying to learn how to plait it and master doing her hair,” he added.
Pyoos, father to two men with autism, Gerard, 30, and Michael, 27, said the journey of raising his boys wasn’t easy. “We have been living with autism for 30 years. It’s our reality and all that we know.
We had to learn. Gerard was about 18 months old when things changed. Autism was more of an unknown factor back in the 1990s so we had to do our own research.
“When Michael was born, he took longer to develop but their symptoms were not the same. “They have a special bond with each other. Gerard is completely non-verbal, while Michael has little speech and their communication was on another level. We’ve learnt how to read them.
The challenge with differently-abled children is that it requires lifestyle changes and arrangements must always be made. Support isn’t always forthcoming. Going out is a challenge but you learn to adapt,” said Pyoos.
Although it’s been a tough journey, Pyoos said his sons have taught him many lessons. “They have taught me resilience and patience. I can go on and on. It is a challenge, but it is also a blessing and my wife and I have given talks and helped other parents with autistic children.
“For me, it is their love for you which is unconditional. There are no teenage issues; they don’t lie or do bad things. They are pure – God’s children. They are purely innocent, and it is a blessing to have my boys love me unconditionally,” Pyoos said. Gambu said he would never trade his son, Bokamoso, 8, for anything. “It has been very hard caring for him; he is speechless and requires a lot of care.
Communication is very difficult. When he is sick, we have to monitor his behaviour, he can become aggressive.
“He cannot play with other children, so he is all alone and in Harrismith there is no school for autistic children which is very hard. “But we do have fun. When he is well, he likes to hug, kiss and jump. He gets so excited if you do that with him.
He likes food too. “When we take him to church, he loves being around those who sing. I love this boy – he is my only son, and I wouldn’t swop him. People think that they are mad and avoid autistic children, but he is so loving and caring,” said Gambu.
SUNDAY TRIBUNE