Nurse accuses family of verbal abuse, intimidation and harassment
Durban - A nurse working in the Middle-East has taken his Durban mother and half-sister to court over the alleged financial woes, harassment and the childhood trauma they subjected him to.
The nurse, based in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, brought the court application against his pensioner mother and half-sister, who live in Chatsworth.
His application was to stop the two women from verbally abusing, harassing, intimidating and threatening him.
He sought to cut all communicative ties with them and prevent them from contacting his employers or colleagues.
The attorney representing the women, Vinesh Badri, said the matter was adjourned indefinitely at the Durban High Court on Tuesday, and the son was expected to file responding documents to the response put up by the women, within two weeks.
In his founding affidavit, the son stated he suffered acrimony after learning he was born out of wedlock and that the people he believed to be his parents were actually his maternal grandparents.
He said after their deaths, he was shuffled between family and felt like an unwanted burden.
In 1993, he lived with his biological mother, her husband and two other children. He subsequently ran away on three occasions due to verbal and emotional abuse he allegedly endured, only to return at the behest of his mother, as they were financially dependent on him.
“I was only treated with some decency or respect on the occasions that I earned money.”
In 2013, he had shoulder replacement surgery. During this time, his sister lost her job and he was expected to support her along with his mother.
“I was subjected to further emotional abandonment after I was hospitalised following a suicide attempt, and my mother did not visit. I was told not to divulge house problems to the psychologist. She made it clear I would be better off if my attempt had succeeded.”
He said he attempted suicide because of turmoil endured from his mother’s emotional manipulation, being forced for 15 years to financially support her and becoming blacklisted after she opened accounts, made purchases and no repayments.
During September 2015, arrangements for his sister’s wedding were being made, and he was taken by surprise when he was expected to pay all the wedding costs, but he refused.
In March 2016, he said his mother contacted him about paying her rental dues, as she was in arrears and needed to settle the account.
“My half-sister contacted my friends about convincing me to send financial support.”
He said his mother contacted a cousin in February 2018, saying he owed her R50 000 for being born to her.
He added that during October 2019, his sister told the same cousin she would attempt to make his life hell, ensure he lost everything, phone his employer, and ensure his termination.
“I’ve completely withdrawn from my family and want nothing to do with them. They have broken my spirit and my soul, and I now want peace.”
In response, the mother said she was unmarried, 18-years-old at the time of her son’s birth, and it was a family decision to prevent ostracisation and shame that he be registered as her parent’s child.
“He was told about this much later in life when he could understand.”
She denied he was shuffled around and when her parents died. He lived with her new family.
“We showed him care and love, as he was our special child.”
The mother said there were no instances where he was verbally or emotionally abused, and they all had a good relationship.
“On one occasion, he told me he was gay. I was shocked, but accepted him because he was still my child.”
She added there were instances where he visited boyfriends for days or weeks, and eventually returned.
“He had multiple partners, and when he became tired of them, he would return. I would phone to check on his well being, but it was not for financial support.”
The mother claimed she cared for him when he had a shoulder injury and when his sister lost her job, he was not asked for financial assistance as she was engaged and her fiancée supported them.
She did not dispute his suicide attempt, but his version of events.
“His boyfriend of five years left him and married another man. He did not attempt suicide because of me. He has numerous boyfriends. He would shower them with expensive gifts to keep them in the relationship.”
The mother denied he was expected to pay for his sister’s wedding.
“In 2015, he called about taking over my R1800 monthly rental. He said he made arrangements with the landlord. But then the landlord said I was in arrears. I contacted him and he dodged the issue. He was not paying, and I had to come up with a payment plan.”
She also denied contacting the cousin about her son owing her R50 000.
The woman confirmed they attempted to contact him, it was when Covid-19 surfaced and they wanted to know he was safe.