Young mom studying to be a success

A young mother had to drop out of school to work on a farm to provide for her child.

A young mother had to drop out of school to work on a farm to provide for her child.

Published Jul 6, 2023

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“I was 13 when I had my first child, he (my boyfriend) was 14. I had my second at 19 and I’m married to the father.”

This is the story of a now 32-year- old from Goedverwacht, who had been introduced to sex at the age of ten when she was raped.

“We were together in primary school. You are in love, you think this is the person I want to be with. I was in standard five when I fell pregnant.

When I found out I was pregnant, the adults wanted us to get an abortion but I said no I’m going to keep the baby.”

She described the birthing experience as “terrifying”.

A month after the delivery, she went back to school to write her exams.

“The challenge is not when the child is a baby, there’s a granny that helps to buy milk and nappies. Challenges start when the child grows, when you have to step up in the role of motherhood, teach your child, be at school and crèche meetings etc,” she said.

Despite the odds, she was determined to be successful.

“I failed matric in 2008 but I decided to go back, I was self-driven. I got my child into crèche, then enrolled myself at West Coast College, did a management assistant course and from there I did internships, and in 2014 I got my first permanent job.”

Parenting mentorship was necessary, she said, as after the child is there, a young mother is left on her own to figure it all out.

In Robertson, a young mother had to drop out of school to work on a farm to provide for her child.

“I was 19 when I fell pregnant, in Grade 11. I am 23 now. It changed me because I had to learn to do things on my own and be independent.

“My day starts full of challenges because we don’t know what to expect during the day and to raise a child at a young age. I don’t have a job now so it’s very hard.

“My mother died and my parents never married so I was living with my older sister. She told me I must let the dad know and make a plan because I must leave (home). So I asked the lady next door and I lived there until my boyfriend told his parents and they allowed me to stay there.”

While she is currently unemployed, the young mother is pursuing her studies in nursing.

The father and his family do not play an active role in the 4-year-old’s life.

“I won’t say I regret it (becoming a teen mom) because I would have had no direction, he (my child) gave me direction. I think more maturely because of motherhood. I know I'm young but I think bigger than I did at the time. My dream is to finish my courses in nursing and find a permanent job.

“From there I want to save for my child, get a house and take my little sister to live with us,” she said.

Dr Jane Kelly from the Hey Baby research project team at UCT’s Adolescent Accelerators Research Hub, said enabling adolescent mothers to return to school is essential, given that prolonged absence from school increases an individual’s risk of not returning at all.

“Without completing school, young people are less able to access further education and training, thus drastically limiting their opportunities for employment and a higher-income or skilled job,” Kelly said.

Cape Times

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