What a swellegant, elegant party this is

With the belles of Koekie, from left, Femme Aldehyde, Dee Blogging, the Glass Guy, Maxine Wild, Mary Scary and me before the show.

With the belles of Koekie, from left, Femme Aldehyde, Dee Blogging, the Glass Guy, Maxine Wild, Mary Scary and me before the show.

Published Sep 10, 2022

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Bellézar

Where: Cabana Beach Resort, 10 Lagoon Drive, uMhlanga

Open: Daily 6am to 9pm

Call: 031 561 2173

Something about Bellézar just screams… Let’s Party. Part is its buzzy vibe and part its beachfront setting, but those “buckets” of pink “juice” with half a fruit salad in them slip down oh so easily. Yes, it’s delightfully intoxicating and the booze bill usually far outweighs the food bill.

Tonight would be no exception.

We’re here to see the show Koekie, a drag act starring Mary Scary, Maxine Wild, Dee Blogging and Femme Aldehyde, which promised Absolut.GirlPower. We had front row seats to quite a show that featured everything from Whitney Houston, to impossible splits, to Mary Scary perching on the Glass Guy’s lap in one of the breaks between numbers… and asking some very awkward questions.

Sushi at Bellézar: tuna nigiri and a prawn avalanche roll

It was a show with incredible vigour and energy and some acerbic one-liners as Ms Scary worked the room. The “Housewives of La Lucia” thought they had got off lightly until later in the show. One poor fellow wearing a very “sartorial” bush had attracted her attention. She tried it on and no, it didn’t suit her. She looked at the label. “Look here,” she said. “It’s 80% polyester and 20% racism.” The room was eating from her hands.

All the while our excellent waitress Betty kept the gins flowing. Nights like these are always fraught for waiting staff. People are moving all over the place, you’ve got to avoid getting in the way of the show, and still make sure no-one feels unattended. She did it with aplomb.

The deluxe sushi platter containing tempura prawns, salmon California rolls, salmon roses topped with prawns and tuna stars.

So after all this activity, the food may seem almost incidental. But it’s worth a whirl. For a large restaurant with an enormous menu and a party vibe, not only does it come out of the kitchen quickly and efficiently, but it’s remarkably good. It’s not there just to soak up the alcohol.

There’s a section for pizzas, pastas, and burgers and pregos. There’s some light meals and some full on favourites. There are grills, and a large seafood selection along with a number of platters and boards, all meant for sharing. There’s breakfasts as well. And then there’s the sushi menu.

For some reason Bellézar lends itself to suggesting sushi, so we ordered a different platter from the last outing, plus a portion of tuna nigiri (R55) and a prawn avalanche roll (R90). The deluxe platter (R285) contained two good tempura prawns, a tarted up salmon California roll with mayo and caviar, some salmon roses topped with prawn cocktail and something called tuna stars which were draped in a teriyaki sauce. These I’d not seen before and we almost ordered another plate, but then the ladies were about to start their first set. I also enjoyed the prawn avalanche, and the prawn topping on the salmon roses was inspired. The nigiri too was good. We were impressed.

Somewhere after the first act we felt like a bit of a top up and opted for two options off the light menu. The grilled calamari (R110) in lemon and garlic sauce was good, and we relished the beef fillet trinchado (R140), which was done in a rich red wine and bay leaf sauce, the meat still succulently tender. Put that on mashed potato and it would be a meal for me. We mopped up that sauce with slices of ciabatta toast… and our fingers.

After the show Betty brought us two excellent espressos, mainly so we didn’t roll out of the place. It was a fun evening.

Food: 3 ½

Service: 4

Ambience: 4

The Bill: Apologies but I lost the bill, but it came to R1 600 and something, including some number of GnTs

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