"There are questions we, as men, who are in love, should ask ourselves in a country where the femicide rate is one of the highest in the world." Picture Henk Kruger/African News Agency (ANA)
This is a letter addressed to my fellow men in South Africa.

Being in a relationship with a woman can be the most wonderful thing in the world, especially if you have a good understanding and mutual respect for each other.

There are questions we, as men, who are in love, should ask ourselves in a country where the femicide rate is one of the highest in the world.

One. Because you are physically stronger, do you want to dominate my partner?

Two. Do you want to control her and tell her when she can go out with her friends?

Three. Are you self-centred and put yourself first?

Four. Do you feel entitled to all the benefits in a relationship regarding sex and intimacy and feel that you have the right to demand it at any time?

Five. Do you stalk and bug your partner at work at an inappropriate time on a regular basis?

Six. Do you get jealous and aggressive when she is talking to another man and then afterwards want to verbally and physically abuse her?

Seven. Do you always try to manipulate any situation in the relationship to your advantage?

Eight. Do your feel that if she dumps you, you will not let anybody else have her.

If you display and take a number of these traits to the extreme, seek counselling immediately!

Some women will not tolerate this nonsense if they know they putting their lives and well-being at risk. So, if they serve you with divorce papers or an interdict, don’t think violence will solve it, because then you will expose yourself for the creep you really are.

As tough as it is, rather be understanding, keep control and walk away.

* J Hendricks, Bellville.

** The views expressed here are not necessarily those of Independent Newspapers.

Cape Argus