by David Biggs
Where did this habit of giving initials to everything originate?
Almost every news story I read is riddled with (usually unnecessary) initials. In a typical report, for example, I read about the South African Tuberculosis Caucus (SATBC).
Well, thanks.
To be honest, I could have worked out the SATBC for myself if I’d felt the need for it. Often when gender-based violence is mentioned it is followed by a helpful (GBV). It is probably investigated by the Special Investigative Unit (SIU) under the direction of its Chief Investigating Officer (CIO) and his Second In Command (SIC).
I’m certainly not the only reader feeling swamped by unnecessary initials. A friend in Gauteng sent me a paragraph he’d copied from a local newspaper.
It said: “U of T’s CRCSS instructed the UTGSU to provide a summary of its plans by March... ”
Apparently the story offered no explanations as to what the CRCSS or the UTGSU was. It’s obviously reached the stage when initials are enough and we don’t need words any more.
If the trend catches on things could be far simpler for us column writers.
“Two pedestrians suffered GBH after being hit by a MBT in the FH MR. Both were said to be under the I of A after shopping at the local PNPLQS.
“The driver of the MBT described them as BFs who both needed a swift K up the AH.”
The FH SAPS have opened an IR. When asked to comment a FH Mayco member said “I couldn’t give a F. They can all GTH as far as I’m concerned.” Imagine the fun our readers would have trying to work out what all those initials mean.
Last Laugh
A traveller was lost in the desert, almost dying of heat and thirst.
Eventually a man appeared over a sand dune, riding on a camel and carrying a selection of gaudy ties draped over his arm.
“Water!” Croaked the desperate traveller, “I need water.”
“I don’t have water,” said the camel rider, “but I can sell you a nice tie for $30.”
“I don’t want a tie,” groaned the traveller. “I want water.” “How about two ties for $40?”
“No ties, please, just show me where I can get water.”
“Okay. See that palm tree on the horizon? Go about two kilometres past that and you’ll find water.”
The traveller managed to stagger past the palm tree and eventually came to a bar counter where a barman was shaking cocktails casually.
“Water! For God’s sake, water?” cried the traveller.
“Sorry sir,” said the barman, “we don’t serve anyone not wearing a tie.”
* "Tavern of the Seas" is a daily column written in the Cape Argus by David Biggs. Biggs can be contacted at [email protected]
** The views expressed here are not necessarily those of Independent Media.
Cape Argus